CAPERNOITED

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Day 12/366

I just spent the whole day at school, practicing for my badminton game which will be this coming Saturday. I am quite nervous because I will be battling with the sophomores, juniors, and my seniors, which, some of them, were my teammates during high school. I wasn't able to eat breakfast because I had to go real early so that I could jog with them. After 9 rounds of jogging in that 2km circular lot, we were really tired and exhausted, considering that we only have 30 minutes to rest. After jogging, we went to the gym to have our practice game. I just spent my free time there since I wasn't able to play yet; it was the juniors vs sophomores turn to play a friendship game. I was quite busy with my Twitter on mobile and so with playing Tetris on my friend's phone. Morning and afternoon passed, I still haven't eaten anything so I decided to eat the cheeseburger my coach offered me earlier.

I went home so I could sleep. Unfortunately, I just ended up playing with Plumkie because he was inside my room. I noticed that he grew a little inch as days passed by. I tried to measure him using the shoe box where I placed him the first time he arrived here, and now, he can't even try to fit inside since his tummy is too big for the box. Then, I remember Doobie, and yes, if Doobie was just alive, he would've been the size of Plumkie. Yes, they're alike.

Then, we chatted with each other on Facebook. She activated her account again and I saw her profile picture. She's beyond beautiful. And oh, that illustration of me and her was really cute! Hnnnnnnng.

I have been hearing this song lately. It has been played in most radio stations, every jeje house I pass by when I have practices, in jeepneys and in multicabs whenever I ride on them. Almost everywhere. 

Labels: aggh, turuan mo ko nyan turu turuan mo ko nyan

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I really drank a lot last night which caused my hangover this morning. It was pretty much the worst hangover I had; since I don't really drink liquors too much and I'm too young for that. Weh. Anyways, I was touched with what Mom has done to me this morning. Aside from not trying to wake me up for school, she left with a value meal, chocolate sundae and a bottle of Gatorade in my study table which I believe is a cure for my hangover. Sweet. Really sweet.

I was amazed because no one screamed or slammed my door this morning to wake me up. I was in my planking position, with my left arm and left foot hanging on the bed, touching the floor, when I woke up this morning. I really had a hard time since I feel like I'm weightless but when I tried to get up, I can't even carry my own body weight. Upon opening my eyes, I was surprised when I saw a couple of things in my study table:

Thank you Mom. I thought you would never understand but for the very first time, thank you, because you did.

Labels: family

An update:

• First two tabs are on replay, and;
• This site.

Labels: tulog tulog din

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Day 10/366

I woke up feeling so anxious about everything that is happening around me. My eyes were swollen; but my right eye was bloated that I can't open it. Then, I heard her voice on the phone again.. it was like, enchanted, magical, I don't know how I'd describe it. It literally broke every piece of me again. I was filled with mixed emotions, but above all, the pain was covering my heart and made me suffocate. To forget the pain away, I just slept til afternoon came. I sent my classmate a text message saying I will be around for my practice game in the gym. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday; water was just the only buddy I have. I just grabbed 4 slices of Gardenia's and ate it up, drank water and then left.

After the tiring practice, we, together with my teammates, agreed to go on a road-trip just around the town vicinity. It was still early when we finished roaming around so we agreed on what to do next. It was a good thing when a friend suggested we'd go KTV and spend the rest of the night there. It was around 8 in the evening when the 5 of us rented an exclusive room, ordered some drinks and got wasted. It was actually my first—wait—second time to go out with this group since I just spend most of my time at home and I don't really drink. But this night was just as perfect as my situation. I can't believe I cried in front of them while venting out what I felt. Being the youngest among them, it was a good thing they understood my current situation and told me their stories where I could relate mine.

The next thing I knew was that I went home, lie down in bed, sent her a good night message and slept.

Apparently, alcohol could take all the pain away—temporarily. I am currently thinking of things I could do to take this away permanently, though.

Am I not good enough?

She's the girl I have always known. She's the girl beyond perfection. She is the girl I dearly loved; the girl who has been mine for a year and months. She has a different world compared to mine. I already have her as my girl―but why do I feel so inadequate for her? I feel like she deserves better and that she could find someone a lot better than me. She deserves someone that will be able to support her and get her whatever she wants, when she wants, or when she needs it. I feel she deserves someone that's actually good at things, talented, smart, and someone who could make her happy in the long run. I feel like I have none of those attributes. Though I tried to be one, I already gave everything I have, and took out the best in me. I've told myself so many times that I'm not good enough and that I won't ever be good enough, unless I get a good job that pays well, so I can live with her and make her happy.

Labels: SAVE ME