CAPERNOITED

010912

Day 9/366

I ate up my pride last night by sending her a goodnight message at midnight. I waited for a minute.. 2 minutes, to four, to ten, til 20 minutes passed and I haven't received any response. It's either she's already sleeping or maybe, she's wide awake but doesn't want to talk to me. I just slept, believing the I could sleep the pain away.

Morning came when I saw my phone with a missed call from her at one in the morning. How I wished I waited that long but my eyes couldn't handle the tears anymore. I received a call from her before I went to take a bath. She told me she was sorry, and as she was saying it, it literally broke my heart into pieces. It was the sincerest sorry I have ever heard yet in my entire life. As much as I really wanted to talk to her some more, my heart and mind was arguing but finally, I told her I still don't wanna talk.

During my classes, I couldn't concentrate since I was really bothered I haven't studied anything the past night. My love life's preoccupying my school life already; which I really don't want to since I can't manage to handle them. Besides, if my parents knew that I have failing grades, I would surely be sent out not only the school but our home. I'm still hanging on.

During my Filipino class, our professor told us to compose any song composed of 4 verses (including the chorus), put up tune on it and sing it in front of the class. I admit; I am good at making up tunes but I am not really fond of composing songs especially if I do not feel like composing one. But since my mind is preoccupied with different thoughts yesterday, I composed something for her and I bet if I put tune on it, it'll be a hit. Lol. But yeah, I guess it was really that good. Actually, it sounds like a song for love making (or some sort). I have been dying to make one and play it on our honeymoon. So much for that..

My classes ended early in the afternoon yet I didn't go home early because I was not in the mood. I even cried in school because of something! Fuck, it was really that hard.

I went home, heard something, saw something (that made me smile), and then here comes something. Yeah, all those things and that one. But the last one, yeah, it was really heartbreaking.

Tears are starting to fall right now so I guess I have to stop here.

Mondays are really awful and not-the-best-part of the week, yeah?